It Didn't Start Out To Be This Way

The day started out ok; funny how quickly things can deteriorate.

The project was to level and stabilize the 5^th wheel RV that we’ve put in the side yard of the house in Mesa. We intend to stay there during the time of evil white fungus that falls when it’s cold in Flagstaff. We hired a guy with a truck to move it for us. It took much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth to position it where we wanted it and then when the guy  dropped it off of his truck, it fell back 6 inches. With tears in our eyes we sent him on his way, deciding that we could mess it up ourselves; no need to pay him to do that for us.

Linda and I recruited the Dandoys and other strangers passing by on the sidewalk to assist in moving the RV. We got two big floor jacks to put under the front stabilizer legs, raised the RV and while Lela and I drove the floor jacks, the others gave a mighty shove. Someone yelled, “There’s a light up above.” And 20 men scrambled from a would-be grave… No wait, that’s from the song Big John; sorry for the diversion. But our folk did give a mighty shove and the RV moved. After several more shoves, and several tests deciding that we had enough room for the slide out, we dropped the front end onto stabilizer jacks and called it good. Sat in a chair and had a Coke.

That was a couple of weeks ago. Linda has since returned to the frozen north (Low there tonight: 25. Low here tonight: 55. I’ll take 55 thank you.) That left me to stabilize the RV by myself. Not a big deal, right? Maybe it shouldn’t have been, but with me involved… Let’s just say it could have gone more smoothly.

The process entailed setting up a couple of levels on the floors inside the RV; one for level side to side, the other for front to back. Then using the front legs, numerous stabilizer jacks and the 3 ton floor jack purchased for the project mentioned above, I would crawl under the RV, set up concrete blocks on which I’d place the stabilizer jacks, then tighten the jack to the frame of the RV. There were 5 jacks down each side plus the built-in one on the back of the RV. Place a jack, get up go inside and check level, jack up the RV more, place a jack, get up and check level, jack it up more, get up and check level, ad infinitum. 

All of that seems innocuous enough, and it should have been. But you must keep in mind my advanced age and lack of physical ability. The process of getting down on the ground, laying under the RV while maneuvering cement blocks and stabilizer jacks was time consuming as well as physically demanding. Getting up was even harder; gravity is my enemy. It crossed my mind that had anyone been watching it would have seemed comical.

That’s the point at which I realized that the renters living in the house were all staring at me through the windows. That wouldn’t have been so bad but they had gone across the street to get neighbors to come and watch too. Tickets were sold and I think I smelled popcorn. 

The culmination of the activity was that after placing the very last stabilizer, I got up to check level. Except that this jack was under the part of the RV where one of the slide outs is. I crawled out from under the RV itself but forgot about the slide out. As I straightened up and slammed my head into the slide out, the spectators cheered and broke into spontaneous applause. I’m sure my concussion was worth the entertainment value. I’m really dizzy now, but when I can walk straight again I’m going to go demand my half of the ticket sales; only fair I think.