Dr. FrankenStan

Frazzled

2012-01-20T12:12:00.000-08:00

The morning started out badly but it also made me be grateful again that I'm married to Linda. While still in bed I grabbed my laptop to check email. I got several notices from PayPal that I'd authorized payments. I hadn't authorized any payments! I panicked, got flustered and began trying to fix an obvious hack. (Insert picture of Stan in his underwear using phrases like Egg Sucking Dog to describe the folk who hacked me, all the while wanting to throw the computer because it won't give me the information I want.) While I'm in a dither trying to get it fixed on line, Linda calmly found me a phone number to PayPal customer service. I talked with a gentleman named Colin who helped me straighten that part out; PayPal is ok. I think. Still working on the credit cards but so far nothing bad.

So after taking care of that and while Lin is at work I'm supposed to take the dogs to the groomer. I'm a big boy, I can handle that. Ever try to put a harness on a flea? The danged little red dog gets excited when she hears the harness rattle. She comes running to the sound and flits around like a flea waiting to get it on. Then when you approach her with it she backs up. I chased her for 45 minutes while she's going backwards trying to escape the very thing she wants put on. After finally getting her harnessed up, and getting Barkley in his, I look for their leashes. And I look for their leashes. And I can't find their leashes. I mean I scour the likely places and many unlikely places but no luck, can't find the leashes. While I'm looking for the leashes in the garage, the door is open and the red dog comes downstairs and out into the yard. At first that was an additional irritation but then I thought it would be a good idea if they both did stuff dogs do on our lawn instead of the floor of the groomer's, so I got Barkley and put him on the lawn. Of course by the time I get back to the lawn Kitty is gone. I wandered up and down the street and found Kitty, chased her back to the yard and searched more for the leashes. And searched more for the leashes. Still can't find the leashes. It's getting closer to the scheduled appointment time with the groomer but you can't take your dog to the groomer unless they're on a leash. So here I am, back in a dither because I hate being late. What to do , what to do? The appointment is for 10, it's a 12 minute drive to the groomers and it's 9:52. I grabbed a chunk of electrical wire, cut 2 lengths of 5 feet each and tied it to their harnesses. Walked them into the groomer and acted like it was an everyday occurrence that people use electrical wire for a leash. Coca Cola and chocolate and I'm doing fine now. Oh, BTW, the leashes are in Linda's car.

2011-07-23T08:31:00.000-07:00

I'm in the experimental mode. After 3 tries I think I'm on to something; easy donut holes.

Ingredients:
1/2 cup of your favorite biscuit mix; Farmer Brothers for me.
3 tablespoons confectioners sugar. Don't use granulated, the donuts will be greasy little bits of junk if you do.
1/2 teaspoon vanilla.
2 tablespoons of water. Maybe a little more but not too much, you want the dough a bit dry.

Method:
Turn on your Nesco deep fryer to 375. Don't have a Nesco? Use your Wearever, Hamilton-Beach or whatever you've got. Don't have a deep fryer? What part of the south are you from that you don't have a deep fryer? I live in northern Arizona but came from the southern half of the state, even southern Arizonians have a deep fryer. Ok, if you don't have a deep fryer, heat some oil in a pan on the stove. Slightly flatten the dough balls, that makes it easier to turn them when necessary. Put several in the fryer. Not too many at once and keep in mind that these little buggers will expand a bit. Plus you don't want to cool your oil too much. Fry them until they're (as Alton Brown would say) golden brown and delicious. Take them out with a spider or a slotted spoon and put them on a drain rack. Don't have a drain rack? Go get one. You don't want to use a paper towel; they just sit in the grease that way. A drain rack is a good purchase. While they're still hot sprinkle a bit more powdered sugar on them.

See, I said they were easy. You can use different flavorings instead of vanilla if you want; while I'm thinking about it, banana might be pretty good along with the ubiquitous almond or lemon. After a bit of experimentation I might add a little salt to the batter but at this point I don't know what it would do. As I said, this is after several experiments and I'd be glad to hear from any of you on how to make improvements. We could be like America's Test Kitchen, making 20 batches until we get it really good. If you get it better, share!

Mix the sugar and biscuit mix together really well. Add the water and vanilla and stir until the dough is completely moistened. Add more biscuit mix or some flour if necessary; you don't want this dough sticky. Roll the dough on your granite into a ball and then form into a log. Make the log approximately the size of those large tapered candles you put out when you're trying to impress someone with a fancy dinner. (That never works by the way; if they've agreed to come to dinner they already know how you really are; fancy candles aren't gonna make a difference.) Use your bench knife and cut the roll into small pieces.

Scary Moments

2011-06-06T20:04:00.000-07:00

Some things are just scary to think about. There are lots of things in the world that will scare a sane human. One thing I'm remembering is when I was a younger man and spent time on the ranch with some pretty wild cattle. One time we had one big wild bull that did NOT want to be herded. My dad got a rope around his neck and that made the bull mad. That bull charged dad and his horse several times before I could get a rope on him and pull the other direction. We rode for a couple of miles pulling that bull between us. A pretty scary couple of miles.

Another scary memory is the time I had dropped off a date in Pima and was headed back to Thatcher in my '69 Thunderbird. I was traveling a dirt road at a rather high rate of speed when I realized that the road ended at a T junction. I foolishly slammed hard on the brake pedal and slid for what seemed like 300 yards. I slid through the intersection and stopped with my front tires just inches from the concrete ditch at the edge of the farmer's field. Sat there for a few minutes, put it in reverse, backed out and drove slowly home. SLOWLY home.

I remember when I was very young watching "Frankenstein" for the first time. Mom told us not to watch it but my brother, sister and I thought we were tough enough to handle it. By the time the monster made his first appearance it was late at night, dark in the house and I was hiding behind the big chair in the living room, scared to death. I still don't like scary movies; my blogger name not withstanding. (Actually that comes from a murdercycle I put together from several different corpse bikes which I then called FrankenBike. One of the guys who heard what I called it said that must make me FrankenStan. I liked it so I kept it.)

Now for the scariest thing ever to be seen on the earth: I bought a pair of shorts. I'm even gonna wear them. I expect global warming will increase due to the reflection of sunlight back into the atmosphere from my white legs. When I'm wearing white socks you can't tell where the socks end and the legs begin. But regardless, I'm gonna wear 'em. Only around the house at first; it may be some time before I have the total disregard for my fellow human beings to wear them in public. Plus I'm not sure it's legal for me to be seen in shorts; somebody check up on that for me, eh.

2011-03-20T19:41:00.000-07:00

I've gotta start wearing my glasses for doing more stuff than just reading.

Most of you remember that my black Pomeranian has diabetes and is blind. That means that he eats meals twice a day at 7:30 in the morning and 7:30 in the evening. No deviations; has to be regular. When he's fed he gets a dose of insulin. To facilitate the regular feeding time we give him canned food. Tonight I'm by myself, Lela was up for the weekend but left a couple of hours ago, Mindy is working, and Linda is gone for a couple of days. That leaves me here to feed the dog. Every now and again I figure I ought to eat something myself, so tonight I figured while I was feeding Barkley I'd warm up some refries and have a tostada. Ever notice how much canned Alpo and Rosarita refries look alike?

Of Oil Ice and Thunderbirds

2011-02-13T07:27:00.000-08:00

Linda doesn't like oil. Oh I guess she likes vegetable oil in the right places, peanut oil when frying meat for fondue, and coconut oil for the popcorn, but I'm learning that she doesn't like large puddles of oil which emanate from underneath the Thunderbird. We've been working on the interior for some time now but every day we work on it she mentions the oil. And I mean she mentions the oil. She says I need to take care of the leaks. I'm focusing on things like the interior. I know I can replace a bad hose or tighten a fitting; you know, mechanical stuff. But the other items are a learning process, I have to figure it out as I go. In order to keep my focus I have to go slowly and work on a solution to the repair while I'm taking whatever it is apart. So here's how yesterday went; I got up thinking that Linda and I would be working on the Thunderbird. She said she'd do some other stuff while I worked on the oil but I needed to work on the oil. We're making pretty good progress. The interior is out and we (mostly Linda and our good neighbor Todd) have put down a material that is a sound and vibration suppressor. The fender is back on and most of the body work is done. The door panels are off and Lin and I are working on rebuilding them. They are a challenge mostly because I'm cheap. I prefer “frugal” to “cheap” but that's just a euphemism and the truth is I'm cheap. New panels are nearly $800.00 for a pair but I bought some plastic caps which go over the cracked vinyl for about $120.00. Of course they are LOTS more work but I'm willing to have Linda do it. But I digress; I also needed to clean off the deck a bit. It involved spraying down the boards which of course meant that there was water all over the brick pathway down below. So I went down below to turn off the water and drain the hose. What happens to water when the temperature is below freezing? It freezes of course. What happens to people who walk on frozen water? They fall of course. The first time, I hurt my pride and right wrist pretty badly. The second time I hurt my knee and my chances of making it into heaven. It's the first time I've sworn about living here in the frozen wastelands of Arizona. Oh, I whine about it all the time, but yesterday as I lay on the ground writhing in pain and getting colder because I'm laying on the ice, I swore. I mean worse than “Egg sucking dog” kind of swearing. Let's just say that I even mentioned my heavenly father's name one time. It only took one time before I regretted it but none the less I did it. And don't get me wrong; I love Arizona, but I prefer the part where it's warm!

So what does this all have to do with oil? I'll just say that the oil is still under the car because I spent a good part of the day sitting in the chair with ice on my wrist and knee. The wrist is better today but the knee is quite stiff. I'm not dead so I'll be fine. We did accomplish quite a bit with the door panels and the more I work with Linda the more I appreciate her talents. She came up with several ideas and then put them into motion. I think the panels will look really good when we get them painted and installed. Now if I could just get her to get under the car and fix those leaks.......

2010-10-07T21:17:00.000-07:00

2010-09-23T21:10:00.000-07:00

Been thinking about my black dog. It started because a good friend also has a Pomeranian with health issues. Her Pommie should recover, and I send best wishes for that to happen; but it made me think about Barkley who has diabetes and Cushing's disease. It doesn't seem to bother him too much. He's not angry about being blind. I think he just wishes the stupid humans would turn the lights on. He goes about life just the same with the exception that he is a bit slower so he doesn't run into the walls. And he doesn't go down the back stairs off of the deck. He still barks at motorcycles and kids on the sidewalk. He still wants a taste of whatever I'm eating. (He doesn't get ice cream anymore.) He's basically the same dog. Still my companion. Tonight I got in the hot tub to ease the tension. When I got out, Barkley was laying on the pillow which has worked it's way under the rack where the towels are kept. He was waiting for me, knowing that after the hot tub I rinse off in the shower and then get in the bed where he joins me. We enjoy each others company. I'll make the best of the time we have left together. Life is good.

Of Rain and Dogs

2010-09-21T22:23:00.000-07:00

You know that great smell when it hasn't rained yet but the air is saturated with moisture and the inclination to take a deep breath to is irresistible? Why is it that that is the time when the dog laying next to me in bed becomes flatulent?

Sink the Bismarck (Politically speaking, that is.)

2010-07-04T13:48:00.000-07:00

One of the (few) advantages of being an old guy is that I can read a book that I read years before and not remember a thing. I'm re-reading William L. Shirer's "The Rise And Fall of the Third Reich." I read it in high school when I was danged sure I knew everything about everything. Now that I'm older and am only pretty sure that I know something about a few things I find that what I'm reading makes quite a bit of sense but now it scares me. A little background before I offer a quote. The German political, economic and hierarchical systems were in a bit of chaos during the 19th century. Otto von Bismarck worked to unify the various German provinces into a cohesive state. He was successful and established an empire of which he was the chancellor. There was an expense though. An excerpt from the book: " The middle classes, grown prosperous by the belated but staggering development of the industrial revolution and dazzled by the success ofBismarck's policy of force and war, had traded for material gain any aspirations for political freedom they may have had. The German working class made a similar trade. To combat socialism, Bismark put through between 1883 and 1889 a program for social security far beyond anything known in other countries. It included compulsory insurance for workers against old age, sickness, accident and incapacity, and though organized by the State it was financed by the employers and employees. It cannot be said that it stopped the rise of the Social Democrats or the trade unions, but it did have a profound influence on the working class in that it gradually made them value security over political freedom and caused them to see in the State, however conservative, a benefactor and a protector." (Italics are mine.) I can't help but make comparisons to today's political climate. What are we willing to give up in order to have security, both financial and political? What is being forced on us in the name of security and for our own good by those who feel superior to the masses? I'll admit that I'm a little concerned. Back to reading.

2010-02-25T10:14:00.000-08:00

I think we should find things for cats to do. My dogs keep busy protecting us from people walking down the sidewalk, loud cars, snow melting off the roof, grass growing in the summer, all kinds of stuff. Cats on the other hand don't seem to have much to do. Ours spend their winter days laying on the end of the bed and sleeping on the white chair. I think we should get them jobs. Working on a production line somewhere would be good. Or being a receptionist. Yeah that would do it; they'd stay busy answering the phone and dealing with irate people, taking dictation and building data bases. Yep, cats need jobs. They need to earn their keep somehow.

Humans

2009-11-16T16:44:00.000-08:00

This post is just me venting. I'm disturbed by humans and how crass we can be. Let me explain: On Saturday evening I got called out for an accident on I17. It was at mile post 306, right at Stoneman Lake exit. The accident happened at about 5 or so in the evening and by the time I got there it was nearing 6. A Dodge pickup truck was sitting perpendicular to the road with the rear bumper sitting on the guardrail. The truck had been traveling north, towing an empty tow dolly. It crossed the median, ending up in the southbound lane. When I went to assess the damage to the guardrail I also looked at the truck. The front end was smashed and the driver's door was gone. I looked around and saw the door laying under the guardrail on the other side of the road. Then I realized that there was a body under the guardrail as well. Not the kind of thing I need to see but it's part of the job. The clean up of the accident took a long time. Whenever there is a death on the highway the police officers must treat the scene as a crime scene. That means that they measure tire tracks, survey debris, etc. It takes forever. When they were through I went to ask if there was an ETA on the medical examiner. The officer told me that there had been a mix up with communication and that it could be a bit longer. Finally, around 11:30 the examiner's van showed up. Two guys got out, grabbed the guy by the hands, pulled him from under the guardrail and unceremoniously plopped him on a gurney. In the act of pulling him from the guardrail the victim's pants were pulled partially off. There was no effort made to adjust the pants or reposition his shirt. In short dignity was not part of what they did. Dignity in death. Gosh, we all hope for that. I'll warn you; there's no dignity in death if you die on the side of the road and the coroner comes to get you. This guy had been under the guardrail for at least 6 hours and then thrown on a gurney by guys who didn't seem to have any respect. If the victim's loved ones knew of the apparent disrespect I think they would be mortified.

Ok, I'm through and I promise to avoid being maudlin in the future.

2009-10-30T20:31:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been since June 2. I'm a slacker. The real situation is that I've become addicted to Facebook. It's Lela's fault. And Andrea DeCarlo's. And Mary Lynne's. Oh heck, it's everybody who talks to me there. I've decided to slow my participation, mostly to see if I can. Gentle withdrawal. I hope I don't get the shakes.

It's coming on winter. I think I may have mentioned a time or two that I hate snow. I don't hate winter, I just hate snow. And bitter cold. We've already had some frigid temps. On the way to work this morning the computer in the car said 13 degrees. Let me reiterate; 13 freaking degrees. Too cold to ride The Beast. Some of the folk on Facebook from Phoenix are just getting their bikes out of storage for the riding season. Shouldn't I live there? Yes. But not if I want to live with Linda. And I want to live with Linda. But now if I want to ride I'll have to scrape the frost off the seat. Maybe we could compromise; Linda can have June, July and August in Flagstaff and I get the rest of the time in Phoenix. Yeah, sounds good to me.

Lots happened this summer. I'm feeling the need to expound on it. Of course a good deal of it involved wheels; two and four at a time. Next post will be in a day or two.

2009-06-02T18:59:00.000-07:00

I've got this thing that I do that may seem a little odd, but it works for me. I have a cordless razor which I keep in the car. On my way home I shave. That way if Linda wants to make out I'm ready. No stubble to scratch her lovely face. I don't shave in the morning because I don't care if the reprobates I work with see me with stubble. Linda matters way more than they do. One flaw in the system is that because the razor is in the car I usually don't shave on Sunday mornings before church. Not a big deal. I've probably gone somewhere on Saturday and taken that opportunity to shave. But on the way to church I've got on a tie which makes shaving difficult.

Last Saturday, Lela went to Sakura, the local Teppanyaki style restaurant. She came back raving about the sushi. Yes, Lela, who doesn't like using the same deep fryer I use because I've cooked fish in it, was raving about the sushi. Goes to show, you never know. Well, it was nothing doing except we all had to go to Sakura for dinner last night. We invited Ron, Karla and Aaron Brewster to join us.

The flaw in my shaving on the way home plan is that sometimes the razor quits in the middle of a shave. No warning; just quits. So, I get one side of the face whisker free but the other side has little tiny hairs. By Monday afternoon it can be a bit unsightly. Of course it happened yesterday, a Monday, the evening of our Sakura adventure. Left side clean; right side hairy. So, to keep everyone from noticing my whiskers I knocked my water glass over, spilling water all over myself and breaking the glass in the process. No one saw the whiskers because of the scramble to get away from the rapidly spreading water. I was wearing white jeans which got soaked, but it could have been worse; it could have been Coke. By the time we got all that cleaned up it was time for the Teppanyaki chef to come and do his thing, flipping shrimp, making onion volcanoes and such. When that happens they turn the lights down making my whiskers unnoticeable. Life is good. The sushi was good too.

Buffett, not buffet

2009-05-16T20:46:00.000-07:00

Thursday, May 14 was a lucky day for me. It was 777 days left 'til retirement and also the day that my kids took me to the Jimmy Buffett concert in Phoenix. Absolutely great concert. It was the four of us and it's nice to be together. The weather started out a bit warm, too warm for Linda, but by the time the sun set it was really nice. Jimmy played many of the songs I'd hoped for. The band played for over two hours but there are so many good Buffett songs that he just didn't have time for them all. One of the interesting things was the diversity of the crowd. We had lawn seats so we were amongst a large group of folk who were standing and sitting on the lawn. There were many people my age, most of whom were dressed in Hawaiian style shirts. Then there were the younger people, some of whom couldn't afford shirts. That's ok for the guys but not so good for the girls. Right in front of us were several girls who came to the concert despite their lack of upper attire. I think they were trying to get money for new clothes because they kept rubbing up against the guys, probably trying to pry the guy's wallets out of their pants. Or something. Anyway, it was a great show from right in front of us all the way to the stage.

Today is Saturday. I spent much of the day under Linda's van with Lela. We worked hard to change out the O2 sensors. One came out right quick but the second one took us literally two hours. There just wasn't much room for wrench twisting. We were able to cut wires off and make the removal SLIGHTLY easier, but when installing the new one we didn't have that option. We had to put the wrench on the nut, twist as best we could, turn the wrench over, twist a little, turn the wrench over, twist as best we could. It took us forty-five minutes to turn about 1/2 inch of threads into the fitting. I just could NOT have done it without Lela. She keeps right up with me and in most cases is ahead of me. She can anticipate what needs to be done next and help prepare, but best of all, she can see how it works and therefore figure how it comes apart and goes back together. She gets greasy with me and doesn't seem to mind. The real difference is that she looks better than me when she cleans up. We are both sore and I've taken some hard drugs for the pain in my shoulder.

Linda, Mary Lynne and Brandon got some good stuff done around the yard. The most visible thing was that they replaced the carpeting on the entrance to the playhouse. It looks good. They did a nice job.

The hard drugs are kicking in and I'm off to sleep.

Bikes, 'Birds and the "May as Wells"

2009-04-19T09:20:00.000-07:00

Phil, Angela and I went to the Harley dealership in Belmont yesterday where Angela traded in her Victory Kingpin for the Harley pictured above. Really nice ride. The Victory was nice as well but it just didn't quite fit her right. The new bike is similar to the one she rode to Laughlin last year. Come to think about it, almost exactly a year ago.

Its been quite a year. We're doing stuff I'd never dreamed that we'd do. It never occurred to me that Linda and I would be bikers. Yeah, if you can call a nearly 57 year old fat guy with no hair a biker. And if you called Linda a biker to her face she'd slap you. Regardless, I like riding. But I like having my family with me as well, so my mechanical pursuits this summer will center around the Thunderbird. Not so much to be done but some of it is rather daunting. I have a new dashboard that I want to install. Not just the dash pad, but the whole board. That means a complete teardown of the dash assembly. It's not usually the planned work that is a problem for me, it's the case of the "May as wells". I once pulled the engine out of a '63 Caddy because I wanted to change the battery cable end. Meaning I'm afraid of what I'll end up doing behind the dashboard. I'm figuring on all new vacuum hoses, but what about dash light bulbs? And taking the instruments apart for cleaning and sealing? I'm sure it will get worse as I get deeper into the project.

We just got home from church. A couple of good talks. I'm probably related to one of the speakers but we haven't figured out how yet. Mom may have some info for me.

Ok, one more little gripe and then off I go to watch "The Yellow Rolls Royce"; I'm waiting until November so that I have enough leave time to be off for a few weeks because I need some repair on my right shoulder. In the mean time, right now I'm in a bit of pain. Actually, quite a bit. I can't take any hard drugs because I'm on call. If the pager goes off and I need to go push rocks off of the highway on 89A I can't be loopy. Driving the plow truck takes all of my concentration. Especially going down the switchbacks. It's fun, but I need to be awake. Ah, and in the bottom of the canyon is a Dairy Queen!

New Toys and Presents

2009-04-03T17:20:00.000-07:00

Lots happening but little of it interesting. The best thing in the last couple of months is that Linda and the girls got me an early birthday present. Tickets to the Jimmy Buffett concert in May. Linda must truly like me 'cause she is accompaning me to Phoenix for the concert. It's May, and the possibility of triple digit temperatures is high. That's how I'll be feeling though; high. Just from the music. I have a message board in my garage which says, among other things, " If you don't like Jimmy Buffett you're in the WRONG garage." I have a 50 disc CD changer in the garage. I usually listen to two discs; # 1 which is a compilation of Buffett songs I put together several years ago, and #2 which is a copy of #1. Just in case #1 gets scratched. Gotta have back up. Anyway, looking forward to it. It's GOT to be better than the Gordon Lightfoot concert we went to last fall.

The Flagstaff Six went to Cameron last Saturday for a short ride. Navajo tacos all around. Except for Angela who just has to be 15 degrees off center. She had a hamburger. She ended up not liking it. Ha! The tacos the rest of us had were huge, and I mean huge! Lin and I split one and didn't finish a quarter of our halves. There was at least four cows worth of cheese on top of each half. And two cans of green chilies. But what we did eat was really good. Next time we'll split a mini. Or I'll get my usual Navajo stew.

I spent too much money and bought a swell communication system for The Beast. I'm thinking that if it's gonna take naps (see the post of January 17th) then I'll need some way to wake it up. Shouting into a CB from another bike just might do it. Dang thing.

I saw a Tow Pac kit on Craigslist which I think I could adapt to Frankenbike. If I can just get Linda to agree..... This kit makes a bike into a trike. Actually a fourk. Or whatever you call it when the cycle has four wheels. We've been looking at them for several months but they usually run around $3500.00. This one is less than 1/2 that. Lin would ride with me if she could drive a trike instead of a bike.

Ok, off to play cribbage with the family. Great to spend time with them.

Random Things I've Learned

2009-01-22T19:59:00.000-08:00

Things I've learned in the last few years:

If you don't like snow, don't live where it snows. And if you push snow for a living you will soon learn to not like snow.

Pepsi may be for those who think young but Coke is for those who think they think young. I drink Coke.

Camping is for those who ARE young. Even with a 1 ton pickup and a 14 1/2 foot camper, I still end up sleeping on rocks. On a related note:

Smoked meat is different than meat with smoke on it. One is on purpose and the other is because you can't get away from it when eating around a campfire.

Ashes follow smoke. Ashes can be hot and don't taste good.

If your dog sleeps on the bed with you it doesn't take long before you're sleeping on rocks even at home.

If there's a "Concert of the Century" it will snow on that day and I won't get to go.

True friends and family will stand behind you, even when they know better and have told you so, but you screw up any way.

The day you've worked the hardest and need the hot tub the most is the day you will have forgotten to turn the controls from "Economy" to "Standard" so the tub is only 87 degrees.

The number 1 thing I've learned in the last few years is that when you are getting ready for bed and put your bedtime pie snack on your night stand, and your dog can get on the bed, by the time you get out of the shower you won't have any pie.

2009-01-17T22:10:00.000-08:00

The Beast has narcolepsy. That's the only explanation I've got for what happened today. Four of the Flagstaff 6 went for a ride. Mostly to ride, but we said it was to get out of the cold. Just a short jaunt down I17 to Camp Verde, Cottonwood, Sedona and then up Oak Creek Canyon with the obligatory stop at the Dairy Queen. The ride started off inauspiciously but wasn't without problems. Really just the one, but that one was enough. After a pleasant but quick trip on the interstate to Camp Verde we went through Cottonwood to Sedona where we made our planned stop at Kaiser's for lunch. Good food and good conversation. Post lunch we took a couple of side roads away from Sedona out into the Red Rock country. Really pretty and some fun twisties to play in. I was feeling pretty confident about my riding abilities and was having no trouble keeping up with Phil and Angela. Then when it was time to head home we stopped in Sedona, fueled up and headed up the canyon.

The Dairy Queen parking lot is large and covered in hard packed gravel. When we approached the lot, I twisted the throttle and got a little ahead of Phil. As I pulled off into the lot I noticed that the others were not following me and were pulling off onto the right side of the road. As I turned to see where they were going, The Beast decided there was a good place to nap, so it laid over on it's left side and turned itself off. As it began it's nap I stepped off. I didn't want to disturb it, after all it can't be easy hauling me all over the place. I figure if it needs a rest I should let it have one. I'm sure the people buying Indian jewelery from the stands there in the parking lot thought that I was a doofus and laid it down because I don't know how to ride. They don't understand about an obscure disease like narcolepsis motorcyclus. I hadn't heard much about it myself until The Beast contracted the disease.

After a little while I asked Angela and Jeff to help me wake the machine up. They came and assisted. It took the three of us but after much grinding of teeth we got it up on the kickstand. Life was good again. An ice cream cone ended all my worries. All in all a good day. The worst day riding is better than the best day at work.

Cruisin' whith Pablo

2009-01-14T18:10:00.000-08:00

"The days keep on gettin' longer, the desire to leave keeps on gettin' stronger." "Worlds Away" by Pablo Cruise, one of the best forgotten bands of the 70's.

It's January and the days are getting longer. Thank heaven. But with every snowfall my desire to leave Flagstaff keeps on getting stronger. Have I ever mentioned that I hate snow? Well, I hate snow! My brother Jeff says snow is white fungus. I think its God's punishment for all those people who rode their dirt bikes on Sundays in the summer. Well I didn't ride my dirt bike on Sunday, how come I have to be punished?

Part of what I do for a living is push the fungus off the interstate. Some of what happens out there is just weird. Remember the joke about the not so bright girl who follows the snow plow and follows the snow plow? After a bit the plow driver stops and goes back to ask the young lady what she is doing. She tells him that her dad had told her to follow the snow plow and she would be safe. The driver says "Ok, but I'm through with the Wal-Mart lot and now I'm going to do K-Mart." It's true; people follow the snow plow.

I plow I17 between Flagstaff and just south of Kachina Village. We've had some pretty significant snow storms this winter and during the worst of the storm people will line up behind me. I look in the mirror and see a line behind me for what seems like miles. And in reality it could be miles, I can't see the end of the line. Well, I plow the left lane for quite a while but eventually I need to turn around and go back the other way. I slowly move over to the right lane in order to take the exit and of course the entire line of cars moves over to the right lane with me. That part's ok, but when I take the exit and the first 17 cars follow me up the exit ramp I think that's pretty funny. When I turn left and go over the bridge across the interstate and 6 of them follow me, that's hilarious. But then when I get across the bridge and stop on the on ramp to clear my windows and they wait behind me, that's just stupid.

I'll let you in on a little secret: Plow drivers can't see any better in the snow than you can. In fact you can see better! Consider these parameters: A civilian's headlights are down below his line of sight. The lights illuminate the road in front of the vehicle less than the snow. A plow driver's lights are up high, above the plow when the plow is raised. That means that the lights are shining on the snow more than they are the road and the driver is looking down through the lit snow trying to see the road. I get white out conditions long before you do.

One more little fact: These days we are putting out SALT behind us. Not cinders like the old days. Salt is not a good traction device. In fact, I'm plowing off the snow, leaving a thin layer of ICE behind me. Until the salt has a chance to work, sometimes as long as 15 minutes, right behind me is the worst place to be. Move over into the other lane. Even if it's slushy. Slush will give you more traction than ice. Slow down! Everybody just slow down! I see way too many accidents out there. Cars and trucks upside down with families standing out in the snow wishing they had slowed down. That is those who CAN stand out in the snow. Some folk aren't so lucky. They are trapped in the ride or worse. Plow drivers hate to see accidents. Please slow down in the storms. Your safety and that of others with you and in the cars around you, is more important than getting to your destination sooner.

One other fact: snow isn't good for riding motorcycles in. I've had a ride planed with members of the Flagstaff 6 for several weekends. We've not been able to go for various reasons, not the least of which is the danged SNOW! I hate snow. And then on one the nicest weekends of late, I am on call so I can't leave town. The whole idea is to get out of here; go south where it's warm and there is no snow. Dang fungus. I'll have to content myself with making a modification to The Beast. I'm playing with some extra lights in the rear. I'll post pictures when I'm finished.

Off to sleep now. I don't get much of that lately. I've got a supraspinatus problem in my shoulder which makes it difficult to sleep due to pain. I can't take heavy duty pain killers because I might get called out at any time and I have to be able to function. Whine, whine, whine. I'll go get some cheese to go with that.

The Pepsi and a Pickle Day

2008-12-04T14:13:00.000-08:00

Ever tried a pickle in your Pepsi? Everyone should try it once. I had a chance to have lunch with Lela and Mary Lynne today. As they get older I realize how precious these times are. They will become fewer and fewer as the days go by. My gosh they are growing up! In fact grown up would be a better description.

The day started out with me being at work by 6:15 am. I wanted to get some work done before the guys got there. I can do as much in an hour with no one there as I can in three during the day when I have the constant interruptions. I had to leave for a while because I had a PT appointment. Linda's tired of my whining so earlier in the week she drug me by my hair down to the Physical Therapist. So far so good. I hope the shoulder is responding but only time will tell.

Lela and her babysitting charge, Alora, 19 months old, met me at the therapist's clinic and watched while I was twisted and pull on. Afterwards we decided that Brandy's would be a good way to commiserate. I sat in the booth opposite Lela and Alora. Mindy came to join us during her lunch break. Lela had hot apple cider which came in a large mug. Alora decided that she needed the mug. After a bit of a discussion with her it was agreed that she could have her own mug. The waitress brought us an empty mug into which Alora promptly spooned some of Lela's cider. When my Pepsi came, Alora wanted to play with the straw. Soon the straw wasn't enough and the Pepsi was the only thing that would do. We put the Pepsi next to Alora's mug and she used her spoon to put Pepsi into it. I figured it was just a spoon and a little apple cider. Cider wouldn't be too bad; might even be good. I continued to drink the Pepsi.

Our lunch came. I had an egg on top of a pancake and Mindy and Lela shared a nice sandwich. The sandwich came with a pickle on the side. Alora likes pickles. And Pepsi. And pickles dipped into Pepsi. After sampling for myself I decided I didn't like the combination all that much. Alora got the rest of the Pepsi. Despite the loss of beverdge, I enjoyed the time with my daughters and will cherish all that I can manage to have.

It's Alive!

2008-12-01T21:19:00.000-08:00

Frankenbike lives! Mike the Bike delivered it late this evening. When I pulled around the corner and saw it sitting in the driveway I was thrilled. I got off of The Beast and jumped on Frankenbike. It is totally different but so nice. The Beast is a V-Twin and has the attendant sound and vibration. Frankenbike is an inline 4 with stock exhaust which just sounds sweet. There are some other glaring differences as well; the seating position, the foot pegs, the narrowness of both the handlebars and gas tank. The most glaring difference is the positioning of the foot pegs. They are much further back than I'm used to. It's the same position as my Yamaha 250 dirt bike. Good for standing up on the pegs while going over the bumps and rocks off road but a little uncomfortable on the highway. Highway pegs mounted to the crash bars are in order. Possibly even forward controls. The latter are to be determined at a later date. The other differences are just differences, not annoyances. Like driving your '55 Chevy for awhile and then jumping in your Mustang. All the controls are there, they just look and feel different. Pictures of both bikes will be forthcoming. Give me a bit, I'll need to get both scooters out in the yard to take pictures. And do it before the snow flies.

2008-11-29T19:37:00.000-08:00

The Flagstaff 7 went to Cottonweird today. When we left Flagstaff it was 26 degrees. Below zero. I had on a turtleneck, a pullover shirt, my thick Harley sweater (thank you Linnea!)my leathers (with the fringe) and my leather coat. (Without fringe.) It was still cold. I was glad we were heading south, off the mountain. As the journey began I wondered if it would be worth the cold. It only took a few minutes on the freeway to make me know that it was. The feeling is just unexplainable. The only way to make a person know the feeling is to make them experience it. If you really want to know what it feels like come and take a ride.

I took both of my helmets with me; the full face and the 1/2 helmet. The full face covers all the way down past my chin. The 1/2 only to just above my ears. I keep my Ipod on full blast and scoot along to the likes of Steppenwolf and George Thorogood. Of course when I hear "Bad To The bone" I have to sing along. With the full face helmet I can hear myself sing. I've discovered that I'm a much better singer with the 1/2 helmet on.

We had to have an excuse to ride, so ostensibly we went down to Laurie's dad's house to talk to him about his trike. He and his wife Carrol, have been riding trikes for quite some time. Lin and I are thinking that maybe it would be more comfortable for her if we had a trike. I'm having trouble with the thought of giving up the two wheels. There are some alternatives but we don't know about the compromise it would take to do those. If I could afford it I would get Lin a Goldwing trike in a heartbeat but I can't. In any event, Lin and Lela both got a ride on Dan's nice machine. They loved it, to say the least. The picture at the top of this entry shows the rear of Dan's machine. As we are currently discussing it they both say that they would jump on a trike for trips to the store. I may have to give up both The Beast and Frankenbike to get a trike. As an aside but not of lesser importance: We weren't at Dan and Carrol's for more than 10 minutes when Carrol went into her house and returned with a really nice leather jacket for Lela. It was very nice of them to think of Lela as a recipient of the jacket and Lela is thrilled with it. She didn't want to take it off.

2008-11-19T18:03:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the absurd just gets more absurd. Today I had a little time to stop at Burger King for a snack. I'd been having a good day and I thought a small chocolate shake would top things off. Before getting my shake I went in to the restroom to wash my hands. I walked in and turned right around and walked out. There's a guy in there taking a shower in the sink in the Burger King. I've worked in bus stations, camped, been deer hunting, had cars break down where there were no facilities for many miles around, but I've NEVER seen someone taking a shower in the sink at the Burger King. I've seen things in the restrooms at the bus station which were shocking, really shocking. But taking a shower? Not a sponge bath mind you, but a full blown shower. He was standing at the sink, filling a large spray bottle with water and then spraying himself all over. He had already soaped up and was in the rinse phase when I walked in. He didn't seem surprised or startled when I walked in; in fact he didn't even acknowledge me. I certainly didn't acknowledge him. I just backed out slowly and tried to erase the image from my mind. So far unsuccessful. I had to get on "The Beast" to help clear things.

Poor Gordon, Dead and Gone

2008-10-26T20:32:00.000-07:00

Linda and I went to Phoenix Friday afternoon to see the concert mentioned in a previous post. (Anyone know how to make these posts go from first to last instead of last to first?) The concert was fun but not good. The picture of Gordon at the top of this post should show why. Mr. Lightfoot has been dead for quite some time but no one dares to tell him. The music and musicians were very good but Mr. Lightfoot's singing, while never good, has deteriorated considerably. Almost to the point of being un-listenable. I understand that I'm old now, and that the singers I liked when I was young have aged as well, but Grand Funk still sound like Grand Funk and 3 Dog Night still sound like 3 Dog Night. Those concerts were great. And The Moody Blues could still tour as a modern day rock band. They still have the energy and vigor of their youth. Gordon, on the other hand, sounds like Katherine Hepburn in her later days. Remember "On Golden Pond"? Horrible. We still had fun and enjoyed the music. It brought back separate memories; we didn't know each other when Gordon was popular.

Our trip to Phoenix was fun. We spent the night in a motel near the freeway. Near our houses in the valley actually. We drove by them. All looks well. One is coming off lease at the end of November but we have a renter already lined up. Lucky thing in these economic times.

Steamed Vegetables

2008-10-08T20:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday started off inauspiciously. I headed off to work not knowing what would lie in store but then again, I never really do. When I got out to Little Antelope I got word of a scene I needed to go take pictures of. Down around milepost 302 on northbound I17 a couple of truck drivers decided to stop and steam some vegetables. Seems that they were driving from California to Montana with a load of various types of vegetables. They decided to set their load on fire, call the fire department who would then come and steam their vegetables for them while the fire was put out. I suppose that a truck load of steamed vegetables might be just some restaurants would need, but most prefer to do their own steaming. Fresher that way. Somewhere south of MP299 the refrigeration unit on the truck caught fire. It burned the trailer and truck to the point that when the wrecker pulled the tractor away from the trailer several feet of the front stayed with the tractor. It took six hours, two tow trucks, three dump trucks and one fire truck to get the mess straightened out. Oh, and five ADOT workers. I've got pictures but they aren't available to me right now. I'll get them up later.

My darling wife's birthday was celebrated in the evening. The Flagstaff six plus Mary Lynne and Lela all went to Outback for some beef. Good friends good family and good food. I surprised Linda with some tickets to one of her favorite singer/songwriters; Gordon Lightfoot. Well at least I thought he was one of her favorites. She likes him, but not better than anyone else. Last year was supposed to be Andy Williams for Christmas. I bought the tickets and was all set to go but then it snowed. Dang I hate that stuff. Want to know the first day of significant snow this year? I'm sure it'll be October 24th, the day of the Lightfoot concert.

2008-10-03T20:22:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update on the last two weeks of recuperation. I'm still a little sore but doing well. My skin is still pretty sensitive where the stitches were. When Barkley decides to sit on me he has to sit on my right side or bad stuff happens. Fortunately I've been given some assignments at work which haven't taxed me too much. I rode The Beast to work a couple of days this week. Felt good.

Frankenbike is at a doctor's office getting some much needed attention. Fork seals, carb tune, and most importantly, brake cylinder rebuilds. I'm old enough that stopping has become as important as going fast. And at my age going fast includes less actual speed than it used to. Truth be told, I'm at the stage where the flash is more important than the substance. But regardless, I'm anxious to ride the Honda. The next day or two should include an update on Linda's latest challenge: Stan wanting a sidecar for Frankenbike.

Stupidcide

2008-09-13T11:01:00.000-07:00

Well I tried to commit stupidcide yesterday. Lela and I went to Phoenix to attend a memorial service. It was outside, in Phoenix, in September. It was HOT. Not as hot as it could be but when you compare it to Flagstaff, it was HOT. I was standing up outside of the tent when I started to feel faint. I leaned over and put my hands on the back of the chair my mom was sitting in but that didn't seem to help. I worked my way over to where my sister Loretta was sitting and demanded her chair. Actually she graciously offered me her chair. I sat down and my lovely sister-in-law Rose told me to put my head between my knees. Have you seen me? Put my head between my knees? I haven't been able to do that since 1931. But regardless, I took her advice to the point that I could and put my head down. After a few minutes I began to get my wits about me again. This surgery thing has made me dehydrated and it caught up with me yesterday. Needless to say I'm drinking lots more water now.

The Flagstaff Six, possibly minus Linda, who is attending a conference, are hoping to go out for a bite to eat this evening. I haven't been on the bike for almost three weeks now and I think that is the real cause of yesterday's event; motorcycle withdrawal. Well, could be.

2008-09-06T09:30:00.000-07:00

I'm at home after getting some surgery done. Minor, but dang I'm sore! I'll leave it to the reader's imagination as to the nature of the procedure. I'll just say that the pain killer and antibiotic taste horrible. And Linda is making sure I get every ounce that I'm supposed to. Relates to the question of which is worse; the disease or the cure. I will be better later but right now the irritation is irritating.

I'm well enough to go downtown and look at the cars lined up on the streets. It's the Route 66 Car Club's annual show. They shut down registration at 366 but I don't know if I'll have enough strength to see them all. Pictures may follow.

2008-08-25T22:00:00.001-07:00

This is a sign on the way to the North Rim. Linda's brother might get a kick out of it. Of course his name is Larry.

2008-08-25T21:34:00.000-07:00

I've got a lazy bike. The dang thing just rests whenever it wants to. Last week I was at the credit union, just leaving the parking space when The Beast decided to take a nap. I mean I wasn't going more than 5 mph and making a hard turn when it just laid over on it's left side. I stepped off and listened to it snore. As I stood there pondering how to wake it up, 13 midgets in a minivan pulled up and helped me right the thing. Actually it was a skinny guy in an old Ford Econoline, but between the two of us we stood it up and I was able to throw a leg over it and steady it. I don't understand why the thing did that to me; I feed it premium fuel, wipe the dust off of it, try not to ride in the rain too much, but still it got lazy on me.

Today is the 27th anniversary of the day Linda and I said "I do." I am so amazed that she is still with me. I'm grateful for that and anxious to start the next 27. We plan for the future and enjoy the present. Thanks Linda for helping us be a complete family.

The problem I'm finding with blogs is that posts always go on the top. When I'm writing a story, the reader starts with the last post when the story actually starts with the first post. I'll wander around the blog site and see if there is a way to change that. In the mean time I'll figure out a way to tell the reader which posts continue a story line and which ones are just miscellaneous ramblings.

2008-08-21T21:44:00.000-07:00

Not much new this week. Been working hard. Hot days out on the asphalt. I rode the Beast to work today and intend to do so tomorrow. I'm pretty stoked though; at dinner this evening Angela told me that Tommy T has some handle grips with fringe. I gotta go get them. Remember, it takes a real man to have fringe on his scooter.

I'm gonna have a bit of time on my hands in the next couple of weeks during which I'll attempt to further describe the cycle related adventures of the Flagstaff Six. We're working on Colorado for next summer but it may be possible that we'll do a two day trip to eastern Arizona before winter hits.

2008-08-15T20:17:00.000-07:00

Just a couple of pictures to show what Linda and I have been doing this spring. Lin doesn't think these are her best shots. Not necessarily what she wants to be known for. She's just humoring me but I like it.

2008-08-09T19:10:00.001-07:00

How the heck do these guys ride this way? The fringe on my leathers would always be in my way.

2008-08-09T19:07:00.000-07:00

2008-08-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

April 14, 2008

We're in Laughlin, NV. Linda says that the best part of the trip is that nobody died. Some people got scared. Real scared. And those that didn't get scared have no imagination. Maybe that should be explained.

This all started last weekend when the New Flagstaff Six got carried away with ourselves, rented Harleys and took off for places we shouldn't have gone. In preparation for a planned trip mentioned above and described later, we decided to take a pre-trip to gauge the strength of our character and rear ends. Our strength of character was sorely challenged and the strength of our rear ends proved to be non-existent.

I should introduce you to the New Flagstaff Six: First there's Phil, the seeker of truth and hats. His wife Angela, who may indeed be an angel but trys to hide it. Next is Jeff (Hawk) Hawkins and his wife Laurie (Lady Hawk.) Then there's Linda who's name in Spanish means beautiful. She fits the name well. And finally me, Stan, or lately called Dr. FrankenStan. The name having to do with the Honda CB900 Linda and I are putting together with parts from various sources and dead bikes. The bike is called FrankenBike, hence Dr. FrankenStan.

Angela had made arrangements for five of us to rent bikes from the Harley dealer in Belmont. We wanted to get an early start so we made sure to get there at 8 a.m. Actually Angela wanted to get a really early start so we made sure we were there before 8. Way before 8. The problem with that was that the rental guys don't get there until 9. Not really a problem because we spent the time drooling over the cycles for sale. I picked out several, each of which Linda said I could buy if I could figure out how to pay for them. I'm working on that but in the meantime renting will have to do. Oh, only five of us needed to rent because Phil owns his.

It was with some fear and trepidation that I threw my leg over the Heritage Classic chosen for me to ride. I felt the vibrations and was glad I wasn't being too macho to wear my helmet. Then I realized the vibrations were just my knees banging against the gas tank and I should probably start the engine. I watched as Linda took off for a short test ride. She just pulled in the clutch, dropped it into first gear, revved slightly, let the clutch out slowly, put her feet up on the floorboards and took off. Nothing to it! Heck, I can do that! Easy. The rental guys knew that Lin hadn't been on a machine the size of the Harley before so one of them took off on foot to pursue her. What he would do if he caught up with her I don't know but needless to say he didn't catch her. A couple of minutes later she pulls up, downshifts, puts her feet down and stops. Ok, this must be easy, she's only been on it for a few minutes and already she's got the hang of it. Great, my turn. Off I go. Let's see now; pull the clutch in, got that. Drop it into first gear, got that. Rev slightly, got that. Let the clutch out slowly, got that. Put feet up on the floorboards which makes me stomp on rear shifter dropping it into second gear making me look like a doofus, got that. Yeah, I'm getting the hang of it all right.

We set out from Belmont into Flagstaff with intentions of having a leisurely trip to Valle, just south of the Grand Canyon. The ride into Flag was uneventful unless you count the seventeen thousand trucks that went by at twice the legal limit, almost blasting us off the road. We took highway 180 north out of town and stopped at Sechrist School. Whew, made it that far. We were just checking up on each other. Linda and Laurie looked all cool and refreshed. Phil and Angela being experienced riders were having no issues. Jeff is an old Goldwing rider so he was all together. I was really glad that I had on my full face helmet so that people couldn't see the terror etched onto my face. I just kept the mirrored face shield down and shouted through it “Yeah, this is great, I'm having a blast.” Lies, all lies. I was scared to death. And the worst was yet to come.

We set off again, me in the middle so that if I took a dive someone would see me and help pick up the pieces, or at least try to get the bike off of me. We only went 15 or 20 miles to the next stop where I was able to pull the helmet off. Mostly because I was sweating profusely lubricating the helmet so that it almost fell off. I acted all cool and went into the little store where I bought some beef jerky. I needed to walk to make my legs quit shaking. I came out and Linda was laughing and having a great time with the group. I was thinking “Why has she been so reluctant to do this? She's having a great time.” I was also thinking “What the heck's wrong with her, doesn't she know we could die?” And die we almost did a few minutes later.

We took off to Valle. I should tell you that highway 180 is in the high plains with only some scrub oak and juniper bushes to break the wind. Wind, did I mention wind? As we left the little store the wind began to pick up and blow across that plain like it had someplace to be in a hurry. I checked with the National Weather Service later and they said the wind had been blowing between 237 and 413 miles an hour that day. As Angela led us down the road my bike kept laying over onto it's floorboards and crashbars. At one point I let off the throttle but didn't slow down 'cause the wind just blew me down the road. I kept hitting the brakes but it didn't make any difference in my speed. I'm thinking “I paid money to do this? What rational human would do this for fun? What the heck is wrong with Angela, can't she see that we need to slow down? I paid money to do this? Why doesn't Linda put a stop to this madness?”

I was wearing a hoody with one of those hand warmer pockets in the front. When I'd straddled the bike after leaving the store I'd put my gin n u wine eyetalian leather stroker hat in that pocket. As the wind blew and I struggled down the highway, I thought I felt something happening that wasn't right but I was too occupied with trying not to die to pay much attention. I think I lost track of Phil who was behind me a bit. He likes to ride faster than I do so I figured that he'd dropped back in order to give himself some room to really turn it on. Did I really think all that stuff while attempting to stay alive? Sure I did. The old saying about perception becoming acute and awareness coming to the forefront is true. I kept having out of body experiences. As I was floating above the possible carnage I kept saying to myself “I'm gonna die. I paid money for this and I'm gonna die.”

After what must have been hours, though it felt like days, and was probably only 45 minutes or so, we arrived at Valle. We pulled up to the tourist trap and dismounted. Angela arrived first of course, and she had a big smile. Jeff and Laurie seemed fine and Linda was radiant as usual. I peeled off the helmet and found the nearest thing without wheels to sit on. As I sat there, Phil handed me my gin u wine eyetalian leather hat. Fortunately he had seen it come out of my pocket, stopped, picked it up and then drove over 200 miles an hour to catch us. I really appreciate his efforts. The hat means a lot to me; Linda bought it for me when we were in Italy. Florence to be exact.

We relaxed for a short while and then drove across the street to “Bedrock City,” a Flintstones village with a big Fred Flintstone sign. We took lots of pictures to prove to all and sundry, mostly Linda's brother, that we were actually on Harleys. I was afraid that people would think we had just gone to the dealership and faked it all. After the pictures it was off to Williams for lunch.

Down highway 64 to Williams didn't seem as bad. Maybe the panic attack was over or maybe the wind just wasn't as fierce, but whatever it was I began to relax a little and maybe even started to

enjoy myself.

After lunch we headed back east to Belmont. We utilized old Route 66 as much as possible. At one point on 66 we stopped for pictures. Linda drove up to me and said how much she enjoyed the leisurely pace of this part of the trip. I guess that's when I decided it was actually fun. Then we got back on I 40. The semi trucks have NO respect for Harley riders. We turned the bikes back in to the dealership without further incident. Now its the next weekend and we've made it to Laughlin. Further description of this adventure to follow. If I can figure how to post pictures I'll do it.

FrankenStan

2008-08-01T00:02:00.000-07:00

The revised Flagstaff Six, consisting of Linda, Angela and Phil Paris, Jeff and Laurie Hawkins and me are preparing for another cycling adventure. This one is to the north rim of the Grand Canyon on Saturday the 2nd of August. Linda will drive her cage with Jeff and Laurie aboard and Lela will accompany us on a Harley rented from the famous Tommy T. Updates as they happen.

2008-07-31T23:30:00.000-07:00

I'm finally entering stuff into the blog. Lela set it up for me 6 weeks ago but I'm a slacker and am just now getting to it. Look for stuff intermittently.

Kino Bay 2008

2008-07-31T23:29:00.000-07:00

Kino Bay, March 2008.

Adventure to Kino Bay, Sonora, Mexico. (Bahia Kino, Mayheeco) Brandon Henderson, Aaron Brewster, Mary Lynne, Lela, Linda and I, otherwise known as the Flagstaff Six (F6), left Flagstaff on Friday the 14 of March. The adventure started earlier than we thought it would. It should have been an uneventful beginning. We were to pick up Mary Lynne’s car from a shop in Phoenix where an engine was being installed. We picked it up and the four youngest of the group set out to see their friend Erika. They got about ¼ of a block away at a stop light at which point the ride died. Oh, it ran well enough, as it should have with the new engine. But all it would do is run; it wouldn’t move. Transmission was dead. We pushed it back to the shop where a transmission is being installed. The shop owners said it would be ready by the time we returned from Kino. Good thing it was before we left for Kino so I haven’t spent all the money! Linda and I dropped the kids off at Erika’s house where they spent the night. We went to Mom’s in Apache Junction.

Saturday morning Erika brought the group all the way out to AJ where we loaded up, slid Mom into the van and headed south. We left early so as to be in Oro Valley by 8 a.m. Yes I said 8 a.m. That means we left AJ by 6 a.m. Why in the heck would we need to be in Oro Valley by 8? If Stan is involved then wheels must be involved also. And indeed wheels are involved. Only two though. Motorcycle parts.

Yup, the disease has returned. Motorcycles are like arthritis. Once you’ve got it, it stays with you. Sometimes dormant but when it flares up you gotta deal with it. A friend gave me a 1980 Honda CB900. The thing is in pretty good shape but has been sitting for a bit. Some parts have seized up kinda like me when I’ve been sitting for awhile. Hard to get moving until some massaging is done. The massaging needing done is to items like brake calipers and master cylinders. The parts I got in Oro Valley include those parts plus others. Ellyn Davis came over with her van to meet us and pick up the parts. She’ll store them until we go back through Tucson on our way home.

The F6+1 met Holley, Wally, Sarah and Sarah’s friend Maggie, in Tucson where they joined us for the rest of the adventure. We wandered off in search of Mexico and beaches. Mostly beaches. And rest and relaxation for me. The gang is excited about the beaches but I’m not allowed out on the sand in a bathing suit. There are 37 states and 13 countries where it’s against the law for me to be seen in a suit. Unfortunately Mexico is one of those countries. In fact I think Mexico was the country that started the whole reciprocity thing when they saw me on the beaches of Rocky Point some 25 years ago. This NAFTA free trade thing has its drawbacks. Well, maybe it isn’t a drawback from the perspective of those who would have to be blinded by the white legs.

We headed south, thinking that would be the easiest way to find sand. We were right. After 41 hours, $3,671.00 in tolls, 434 checkpoints, and one bathroom stop we arrived in Kino. There was grumbling about the cleanliness of the facilities at the bathroom. I say you haven’t learned about bathroom quality until you’ve seen the hole, literally a hole, which serves as the toilet at the train station in Turin, Italy. No complaints from my perspective. A minor wait at Gray and Debra Jan’s, the property managers, got us the keys to a wonderful set of bungalows. One main house and two smaller houses. The main house is serving as our meeting point but when folk want privacy they can wander off to their respective areas.

Sunday. Today is a bit windy and cool but that hasn’t stopped the shopping and eating. For some the shopping is important but for me, it’s mostly the eating. Too much of everything. I didn’t have breakfast so that was my excuse to eat a loaf of Linda’s bread, fresh from the oven and an entire can of refries into which I put some chopped onion and some salsa casera. Great stuff. I’m not going to mention the M&M peanuts, Little Debbie snacks and myriad of other things. Hunger isn’t going to be a problem. As I write this, Wally has shrimp on the barbie which are a prelude to the enchilada casserole and fruit salad which Linda and Holly are preparing.

Monday. Cool again today. Nice day though. Most of us are sitting around eating and playing cards. Wally, Mom, Lela and I went to Hermosillo this afternoon. Wandered right to the Wal-Mart. Fate. Interesting to see the same general store layout but everything in Spanish. Mostly everything that you would find in a Stateside Wal-Mart but some different things. Right next to the office supplies was a section with tires. Not a great selection but still tires right in with the books and pens. The loudspeaker kept blaring announcements. Specials, lost children and asking for a manager. All in Espanol, of course, but that’s ok because they played it LOUD so the Americans could understand it. After we spent all the money we could in Wal-Mart we went next door to get some genuine authentic Mexican food at McDonalds. We ordered Mexican soft drinks and Mexican French fries y un hamburguesa. While we were waiting, the Mission Mormonaries walked in. Lela bought them dinner. Nice thing to do for guys away from home. Early to bed tonight. Not because we have a big day tomorrow, I’m just lazy.

Tuesday. Back home from a big adventure. Not a planned adventure, but an adventure none the less. We woke to a plugged drain in the shower. We called Gray the property manager. He said he would be right down. He came and warned us of the impending arrival of a pumper truck. Not a water pumper truck but a truck that pumps stuff that smells worse than water. We decided that an adventure to Old Kino was in order. We didn’t want to be around when the pumper truck was around. The whole group of us got into both cars and went to Kino Viejo. We did a little shopping but mostly looking and wandering the beach. After finding the store that has the great fruit popsicles we decided to go waaaaay over on the point to look for more shells. Mom and I remembered a restaurant and pier where we could find lots of shells.

We drove for what seemed like miles and miles on a great Mexican highway. Well, it was really a horrible dirt road but pretty good by certain standards. We found the beach but not the restaurant. Instead, there was this neat little stand where fish tacos were the advertised specialty. There was nothing else around, just beach and taco stand. I mean NOTHING else around. No houses, Pemex stations, phone booths, nothing! That wouldn’t have been a problem but….. The group of us set off down the beach in different directions. We were finding lots of great shells and really enjoying the search. After a bit Lela found Linda and got the keys to the van so that she could get in out of the breeze. (Gotta toughen that girl up; she’s always cold.) A little later Sarah and Maggie decided that they were cold and talked Lela and Aaron into taking them back to the bungalow. No problem, the four of them took the Rande’s car and left. Ooops, no problem he says? Wrong.

Linda and I were walking the beach, finding some swell shells. As I bent down to pick up a shell Linda says “Oh no.” I thought maybe I had split my pants or something. But no, it was worse than that. Linda continued: “I wonder if Lela left the keys in the van.” Well, we left the rest of the shells on the beach and hustled back to the van to search furiously for the keys. No luck. Lela had left with them in her pocket. We began to ponder our options. As we pondered, I wondered if I couldn’t take the steering column apart to bypass the column lock. Brandon helped me and we took enough apart to realize that yes, I could bypass the lock and make the car crank. Cranking is a good thing. Starting is even better. However, the car won’t start if you don’t have the electronic key. Good to know that it is hard for a thief, but we really needed that car to start.

As we were deciding that bypassing the lock wouldn’t work, low and behold a knight on a silver steed came riding up. Ok, it was a tourist from Agua Prieta driving a silver Honda SUV. After some difficult explanations from Linda to the knight who didn’t speak English any better than she speaks Spanish, it was understood that we needed a ride to go get our keys. The gentleman graciously agreed to take Linda the long distance to Kino Nuevo to retrieve them. As they were going down the road, they spied Lela and Aaron returning. Seems that Lela had gotten all the way back to the bungalow before discovering the faux paux. She and Aaron jumped back into the car and quickly returned. All anxiety vanished as we started the van and began the journey home. Of course on the way home we had to stop several times to go through the garbage dumps to check for shells. Actually it was quite interesting; there were three places along the dirt road where there were lots of conch and clam shells just dumped. There were some really pretty ones, and certainly bigger than the ones we had found on the beach. We gathered some and then headed for Old Kino and the bakery shop. Great bread and pastries. Now the youngest of the group are making dinner. BTW, the shower drain is working. I don’t smell any residual from the pumper.

Wednesday. Awakened early this morning by the staccato sound of rapid fire Spanish. Two Mexican men were outside the gate of the neighboring house having a friendly but loud conversation. Why they needed to do so at 4:30 a.m. I’ll forever question. I mean come on, it’s dark and unless you’re going fishing there’s no reason to be awake at that hour when you’re on vacation.

Nothing eventful today except for the huge water leak in the bathroom which we thought was fixed yesterday but was even worse today. We sopped up water and called the property managers, who called Roberto, the handy man. A couple of hours later, Gray, the property manager came by to see how the plumbing had turned out. We told him Roberto hadn’t been here yet so he set off in search of the missing hombre. A couple of hours later, Gray, the property manager came by to see how the plumbing had turned out. We told him Roberto hadn’t been here yet…. and you know the rest. Eventually Roberto did show up and fix the leak. Then Gray, the property manager came by. This time we could report that all was well.

One of the things listed on the website of available things to do was renting jet skis and quads. Wally and I set off in search of the office listed on the site. It turned out to be just a door or two down from Gray and Debra Jan’s. The gate was unlocked so we opened it and went inside. I glanced over to the side and saw a large rope and a large water dish for what I assumed was an even larger dog. I let Wally lead as we wandered the compound. I neglected to mention the rope and water dish to him. No reason for both of us to have fear and trepidation. We knocked on the office door which was locked. I kept glancing around for the dog to come bounding around the corner or from out behind one of the myriad of vehicles in various states of repair. No people answered the knock and no dog came bounding. The former was bad but the latter was good.

As we were leaving the compound some large Dodge trucks pulled up. The occupants said to wait, that “they” were coming. Wally, being the trusting type, decided to wait. I’m thinking “they” were probably the Federales coming to arrest us for being in the compound when we shouldn’t have been. Again I neglected to mention this to Wally as I didn’t want him to have to think what he would tell Holly from the phone in the jail. Turned out “they” were the owners of the place and they were only a couple of minutes behind the folk in the Dodge.

Upon inquiring about our business in their compound, they informed us that they no longer rented jet skis or quads. It seems that the local Capitan wants to change the nature of the beach area by designating only certain areas for jet skis, other areas for swimming and other areas for other things. Due to that, jet ski rental was taken off of the list of allowed businesses. I never did figure why quads weren’t allowed. Liability maybe.

For dinner we decided to try the taco stand just two doors down from our bungalow. Gray the property manager had recommended it to us. We went down to a place between the buildings where it was just sand and dirt. In the middle was a tarp covered area with several plastic tables and a cart with a propane fired hot pan. The proprietors are a man in his fifties and his younger looking wife. We ordered tacos all around. The guy took one look at the male members of the group and asked how many for each of us. Two was the general consensus. He set to work making tacos. He has what appears to be pork of some iteration skewered between two pineapple ends. He makes small slices, cutting small portions from the pork and then puts it on the hot pan. In just a short time the pork is hot and he has warmed fresh corn tortillas. His wife has put out several types of condiments and things to put in the tacos. Cucumber was my favorite. We had a great time talking to him. We told him how good the tacos were and he made a big deal of telling us they were the best in all Mexico. In Spanish of course, but we got the joke and we all had a great laugh. They really were good and Brandon, Wally and Aaron thought maybe they should have had at least one more. Maybe tomorrow.

Thursday. Last full day here in Kino. We leave early tomorrow morning for home. We need to be in Phoenix in time to pick up Mary Lynne’s car from the shop. Didn’t we go through this already? I hope it’s done this time. Plus we need to stop in Tucson to pick up the cycle parts. It has been a great time here in Kino. Today was a laid back day. We made one jaunt over to Old Kino to do some final shopping but we didn’t spend much time there. We stopped at the market to get me a pineapple fruit popsicle but they were out. Instead Lela bought forty pieces of a particular type of candy she wants to share with some friends. She started out by asking for twenty, then thirty and ended up with forty. They just sold her an entire box.

This afternoon a boat went by dragging a banana behind it. Well, it was a large inflated thing that looked like a banana. It even had Chiquita on it. Linda talked most of the group into riding it with her. Holley, Mom and I were the only sane ones. The boat pulls the banana along at a pretty good clip so they got quite a ride. They came back smiling so I guess it was good. I prefer to stay dry. Unless I’m naked, and the laws against that are even stricter than the bathing suit laws. Not something that most even want to think about.

The afore mentioned taco stand was called upon to provide afternoon snacks but we spent the evening and early night time trying to furiously consume much of the too much food we had brought with us. We were unsuccessful in our endeavors so we will take much of what is left to Mom’s friend, Carmen. Carmen is the lady who used to run the Caluma bungalows where Mom had stayed on several occasions. On Monday Mom tracked Carmen down and they had a great time catching up on old times. Wednesday, Carmen and her daughter came down, spent quite a bit of time with Mom and left us with really good tortillas.

Friday. I put shoes on for the first time since last Saturday. Seems really odd. Plus the fact that for some reason my legs are longer now and it’s harder to reach my feet with my socks. I’ll have Linda check the cause of that phenomenon in one of her medical books. Maybe there’s a cure.

We didn’t sleep all that well last night. Seems that Easter weekend is a big doings in Kino Bay and the place filled up with lots of Mexicans. The Mexican people are a very generous people. They will share money, food and many other things. If only one person can afford a stereo it’s not a problem because that person will play their stereo at full volume so that everyone can share. And if you have several affluent Mexicans then you have several stereos at full volume. And if you have lots of affluent Mexicans, you have lots of stereos at full volume. Like I said; a very generous people. It would be nice though, if they would not share past 10 p.m. It was after midnight before the folk next door shut it down to a volume which allowed sleep. Ah, but then somewhere around 3:30 a.m. the neighbor on the other side of us decided to serenade us with some song that I didn’t recognize. I think he was saying something about momma, trains and being in prison. Oh wait, that’s a Johnny Paycheck song. Well whatever he was singing about was at full volume, just like the stereos. Again, a generous people.

The alarm went off at 5 a.m. Time to finish packing and head for the border and Taco Bell. Actually Taco Bell will be hard to take after the great food we’ve had the last few days. I think my favorite was the refried beans Carmen brought us. How the heck does she build them? Oops, this isn’t supposed to be about food. I was going to write about the trip back to AJ. The two cars full of folk left Kino a little after 6 a.m. I decided that I would drive half way home and give Linda a break. I figured Hermosillo would be about half way. Actually, by the time we got to Hermosillo my knee had decided to scream at me. We stopped at Mexican Mac’s for a quick break and to let Linda drive the other half way home. Once again I had an occasion to be proud of my girls. This time it was because they weren’t the Ugly American types which we saw there. They realized that they were the visitors in the country and asked for help instead of demanding it. Lela showed patience with the people behind the counter who in turn granted her patience. All was accomplished with no anger and a few laughs. I really like my kids.

The rest of the trip to the border was relatively uneventful. We stopped once to look at the beautiful copper pots being displayed by the side of the road. Mom ended up buying a nice one to put in the treasure for tomorrow’s hunt. We got to Nogales ready to spend at least an hour and probably more waiting in the customs line. We sailed through in around a half an hour. Not bad at all. I’m glad we left Friday and not Saturday or Sunday. I understand it can be absolutely horrible on those days. Sometimes three hours or more.

The cell phone service into the States started before we actually crossed the border. As soon as service was available cell phones started flying. Lela, Aaron, Brandon and Mary Lynne started making and receiving calls furiously. I waited until we were several miles across before I started making my calls. Gotta show some decorum you know.

We drove to Tucson and picked up the motorcycle parts from Ellyn. Howard was there. It was good to see him. I hope he appreciates that I appreciate the bike. Yes, it will cost us some money but I think the fun factor and the diminished fuel costs will be worth it. Especially the fun factor. I’m at the stage in my life where I’m thinking about the years I have left and I want them to be enjoyable. Cycles and droptops will help with that.

The rest of the trip was uneventful. My phone calls were unsuccessful though. The place where we left Mary Lynne’s car doesn’t have it ready, Northland Motorsports hasn’t worked on the Honda and Luke doesn’t have my Lincoln fixed yet. Maybe it was a mistake to let folk know I would be out of town for a week. I thought it would give them plenty of time to get stuff done. Instead it seems to have given them time to put stuff off. Oh well, can’t accomplish anything by being angry about it. We will cope.

All in all a great trip. We all had fun in various ways and at various times. Not everybody all the time but each of us in our own way and in our own time. The only real disappointments were that we didn’t get to rent the watercraft and Wally didn’t get to go fishing. We can do the jet skis over on the Colorado River and Wally and I will go to San Diego to go fishing. It’ll all work out. Thanks to Linda for putting it together for us and thanks to all for being pleasant.

As a side note and relating to each of us having fun in our own way: On Thursday night after all of us had gone to bed, Sarah and Maggie decided that they would go out on the town. Maybe they were just going to ask the partiers to lessen the volume of the music. They went out the front gate where Lela saw them. Unbeknownst to the party girls she and Aaron were on their way out to lock the front gate because we had most of our stuff loaded in the cars and the trailer. Lela innocently enough went and asked Holly if she knew how long the girls would be out so that she could lock the gate when they returned. Not only did Holly not know when they would return, she didn’t know they had left. Uh oh, stuff hit the fan. Holly asked Mary Lynne to lock the door to the room she shared with the girls so that they would have to knock in order to get back in. When they did knock Holly heard them. I’ll let the reader conjecture what transpired from there. When you’re sixteen and seventeen you are invincible. At least I was. Even though there was great potential for harm, no one got hurt and I think there was potential for a lesson being learned.